• An awakening – a personal account

    Posted on March 22, 2014 by in Yoga

    When I first began my yoga journey there was something that kept calling me back. It was like a love affair where I kept falling in and out of love with what it presented me with. I’ve been frustrated over the years when I’ve retreated from the practice as I couldn’t understand how something that I enjoy so much suddenly becomes hard to do. And I’m talking about actually going to classes or getting on the mat. A huge resistance appeared. I didn’t understand it.

    Then recently I was sharing my frustration/experience on Instagram and in response I was tagged in this this quote by Jack Kornfield ‘For almost everyone who practices, cycles of awakening and openness are followed by periods of fear and contraction’.

    That 'aha' moment

    That ‘aha’ moment

    Hallelujah, yes of course! Finally it all makes sense and I totally feel that’s what has been happening. Phew.

    Back to my resistance, I really had to battle with it to make it to a class, other times I gave into it enjoying lazy moments on my sofa or socialising with friends. More often than not my social life won. Back in the day anyway.

    Eventually I trained to become a teacher and the resistance still continued despite me knowing yoga was unravelling something special.

    Nearly 20 years on, I’ve had a few moments of really ‘getting it’ and on some level I know I’m diving deeper into the true self.

    However, on this retreat something really powerful has happened. I’ve had the deepest connection and awakening I’ve experienced so far. I am glimpsing that expanse of bliss that is inside each of us. I’ve fallen in love with what’s inside and it’s limitless.

    Suddenly the Rumi poetry I’ve been reading for years has a deeper meaning, I get what it means to feel that one breath, that deep sense of being part of everything. I know that when I dip into the sutras again I will unfold another message from them.

    In terms of the physical world everything seems more vibrant, more alive, a sparkle around it all.

    I remember walking out of my first class knowing id found something special but I could never put my finger on exactly why. Yes my body felt better but now I know how to out that feeling in words, the practice gives me a sense of connection way beyond words.

    “You are not a drop in the ocean. You are the entire ocean in a drop.”
    Rumi

     

     

7 Responses so far.

  1. harsh says:

    Really! How do you define your awakening? I’d like to know more.

    • TheYogaGeek says:

      I wish I had better words for the experience but I doubt my eloquence will do it justice but Ill do my best.

      It was a really profound feeling, a huger sense of peace that is about a million times more comforting than the deepest relaxation.

      I felt connected to each and every thing in this universe, (I know how this sounds but like I say words don’t do it justice).

      This is not coming from an egotistical place but I had this overwhelming sense of ‘getting it’.

      But you know, this is just my experience and so that’s why it’s a personal account.

      It makes me feel slightly vulnerable to share it but that’s my ego worrying about opinions when actually that experience has been one of the best understandings I’ve ever had about this path I’m on…

      • harsh says:

        That sounds very deep, Kristy. Though Ive been practising yoga, awakening is not something I have experienced in whatever which way it has come to be defined (my ego’s not seeking it either; if not blissful am not the unhappiest soul either). I am happy for you though that awakening in some sense of the word – even if inexplicable – has found you.

        Shanti!
        Harsh

        • TheYogaGeek says:

          Thanks Harsh.

          I’d love to know, on another note, what brings you back to your yoga mat time and what you enjoy about it. I’m always curious of people’s experience.

          Shanti
          Kirsty

          • harsh says:

            Well, I never thought of that, but I think its a number of things. Yoga always leaves me more refreshed and calm with more positive energy. Also, I enjoy the stretches and little advancements i make :)

            When I started initially I was more on asanas, but with time, and after reading Iyengar’s Light on Life, I focus equally on pranayama also (I do in the evening if I miss in the morning), plus I am intensely and immensely attracted to yoga philosophy and try to practice yogic living. Having said that, I have many miles to go…but im happy with where I am.

  2. Anya says:

    Your honesty truthfulness and presence are inspiring Kirsty x x x x x

  3. Julia says:

    Thanks for sharing Kirstie, it’s encouraging to hear of your experiences xx


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